Its like something clicked over in my brain when we started trying to conceive (TTC). I went from thinking ‘wouldn’t it be lovely if we could have a child’ to something like the baby making version of a Terminator – would that be a ‘Procreator’? – a human looking machine with no other thought than completing the mission (in this case making a baby rather than killing Sarah Conner).
It was like my body, that up until that point had been perfectly satisfied, even happy, to bumble along as it had been for thirty odd years suddenly felt like I was empty. An oven without a bun. And for as long as remained not pregnant I felt less than whole and my mind only cared about one thing – filling it (pardon the double entendre)
Since that time I have been preoccupied, some may say obsessed, with getting me knocked up, preggers, expecting, with child, entertaining a stranger, with a bun in the oven, pregnant!
Since human beings have been doing this for years and, given there are over 7 billion of us knocking about, with some success you might think that this having a baby lark would be easy. They certainly made in sound easy in school biology classes. According to the blushing teacher who suffered through teaching 32 16 year olds basic human reproduction the scenario goes like this – man sticks penis in woman’s vagina, a million sperm shoot out, meet an egg, fertilized egg settles down in the ladies uterus for 9 months of cell dividing, human forming fun and, Bob’s your uncle you have a baby. Then, presumably to make sure we didn’t run off to test the theory, they showed us a video of a woman giving birth during which one of the class inevitably fainted to the general hilarity of everyone else.
So, simple right?
Hell no!
Its not the Mrs Smithson, our high school biology teacher, lied as such when she gave that little lesson but it seems now like she left a few details out. Details that I am now, in my mid thirties, having to discover.
This is my journey, please feel free to join me on it!
Project Baby Maker 